What I Wish to Know
Jan. 21st, 2024 11:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pr0f_sn00dl3I often find that my greatest fears, or rather, any of my fears at all make for an abundance of inspiration in my writings. I am fortunate, yes, but I also wonder how my life would be if I didn't have as many, that when I would stand in front of my class to present or swing too high on the swing set I wouldn't have to worry of the possible expulsion of my last meal, that whenever someone recalled an event from my past, there wouldn't be a racing heart or sweaty palms as I searched frantically through my memory for something they held so dear. In ways I do not truly understand, parts of me regret not being able to control myself better. If only I wasn't as tense when talking to strangers. If only I held every one of my memories on close file to look back on when I wished. At least, this proves I'm human, right? I can feel things, too.
°
Anyways, I wrote a poem for English class to help me make sense of it all. It was an assignment, but like all assignments incorporating writing, I made it personal. She called it a villanelle. I call it "Gone."
°
°
°
"Please do not disappear!"
I yelled at the fading memories.
I only want them to be near.
~
And gone were the people that I held dear,
those twisted people, my enemies.
"Please do not disappear!"
~
And soon what happened, my greatest fear,
the worst of the atrocities!
I only want them to be near.
~
But they, my pets, caused so much drear,
leaving nothing but apologies.
"Please do not disappear!"
~
And now my mind is clear.
So instant were gone my memories.
I only want them to be near.
~
Mourning them every year,
I scream in extensies,
"Please do not disappear,"
for I only want them to be near.
°
°
Not my best work, but since it was only an assignment, and the fact that I turned it in late, it isn't the worst. It displays my feelings toward losing my memories, one of my greatest fears. Maybe a day in the future I will learn to store them better, or not. Time tells all, after all.
°
Anyways, I wrote a poem for English class to help me make sense of it all. It was an assignment, but like all assignments incorporating writing, I made it personal. She called it a villanelle. I call it "Gone."
°
°
°
"Please do not disappear!"
I yelled at the fading memories.
I only want them to be near.
~
And gone were the people that I held dear,
those twisted people, my enemies.
"Please do not disappear!"
~
And soon what happened, my greatest fear,
the worst of the atrocities!
I only want them to be near.
~
But they, my pets, caused so much drear,
leaving nothing but apologies.
"Please do not disappear!"
~
And now my mind is clear.
So instant were gone my memories.
I only want them to be near.
~
Mourning them every year,
I scream in extensies,
"Please do not disappear,"
for I only want them to be near.
°
°
Not my best work, but since it was only an assignment, and the fact that I turned it in late, it isn't the worst. It displays my feelings toward losing my memories, one of my greatest fears. Maybe a day in the future I will learn to store them better, or not. Time tells all, after all.
